He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just blew my weed a kiss
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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