i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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