he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize