This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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