Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
