I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
vagina is talking i cant
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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