Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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