when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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