What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
