After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
