I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
