It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
