'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
