it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
