I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off