You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
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Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
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i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor