While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
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He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was