Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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