lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together