she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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