We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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