I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
they need to just BURY HIM!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
