He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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