an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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