im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
