Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
