so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
