Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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