The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
