I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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