I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
