Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
