Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize