Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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