Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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