I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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