found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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