I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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