Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
