great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
