Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize