when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
