Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
this must be what syphilis tastes like
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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