are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
