I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
