sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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