Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
