what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
