He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
