yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
