I have demons in me.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize