apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
