ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
