im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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