I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
