I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
His nipple licking is glorious
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