If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
