she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Come back. Shots need mouths.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize