babies were throwing up all over the place
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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