I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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