Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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