just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
