you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
