I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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