watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
