I hate your face
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
