so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize