he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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