Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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