You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
