yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
