Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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