and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
